


In Which Kakashi Actually Tries His Best

by infraredphaeton



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, hufflepuff kakashi, parental Kakashi, team feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infraredphaeton/pseuds/infraredphaeton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Hatake Kakashi is a very stubborn, very loyal man with very little family left, and one small, blond obligation that his sensei left behind. </p><p>....All I’m saying is that from what we’ve seen, Kakashi is gigantic, murderous, super professional dork with more loyalty than an army of Hufflepuffs. Why didn’t we see that earlier in the series? AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Visiting Privileges

To understand the actions taken by Hatake Kakashi after he was assigned Team Seven by the Hokage, one must first understand the actions taken by the Hokage when Namikaze Minato, Kakashi’s teacher, died, twelve years prior.

“Sensei would have wanted me to look after him,” said a fourteen year old Kakashi, swaying slightly as he stood in front of the Hokage’s desk. He was dripping blood- not all his own, but mostly- on the carpet, and the Hokage looked at him over his arched fingers.

“Minato would not have wanted you in danger, Kakashi,” he shook his head, ignoring the breeze carried through his office by the broken windows behind him, “no. Naruto will have to be placed in an orphanage. We can’t let his parentage be known, or Iwa would send assassins as fast a messenger hawk could reach them.”

The teenager set his chin mulishly, ready to continue the argument.

“He’ll take Kushina’s name. Uzumaki Naruto. No, Kakashi, don’t argue. His records have been sealed. This is now an A-class secret. When he becomes a jounin, we shall revisit the subject.”

“Hokage-sama, feel that this is unfair to Naruto-”

The Hokage sighed heavily, stamping his approval on the classification forms, “I know, child. I see no other route to keep him safe, though. Do you?”

“I could-”

“You could not. Konoha is in ruins-” the Hokage finally acknowledged the broken windows behind him with a wave of one wrinkled hand, “and we need as much manpower as we can muster. That includes our top jounin.”

“I could still look after him,” Kakashi said, scuffing one sandaled foot back and forth through a puddle of blood.

“And will you carry him in a sling on your back during missions? Will you sing him a lullaby as you slit your target’s throat? No, Kakashi. You cannot.”

Kakashi looked ready to continue, but was rudely interrupted by his untended blood loss, and instead fell unconscious, falling with a solid thump onto the glass sprinkled carpet.

The Hokage sighed heavily and called out for a medic.

“...Can I... at least get visiting privileges?” Kakashi called out weakly as they carried him away on a stretcher.

“No, Kakashi.”


	2. Appropriate Gifts for a Small Child Who Isn't a Ninja Prodigy (Hatake Kakashi's hypothetical recent google searches)

On his second birthday, Naruto woke up with a blanket tucked around him. It was a soft, faded green, with a black shuriken pattern, and he nibbled it cautiously before rolling up in it. When he woke up after his nap, he promptly threw up on the blanket, and it was thrown into the communal laundry basket by one of the orphanage workers.

By pure coincidence, it ended up in the girls' laundry, and Naruto didn't see it again. Instead, a young girl named Hisokui Kyoko grew very attached to it, and spent years attempting to track down a similar blanket after it finally fell to pieces.

(Kakashi could have told her that the blanket came from a tiny weaver's shop in a small farm town on the edge of Fire that had been supplying the Hatake clan with linens for hundreds of years, and she was never going to see the like again. He didn't, because it never came up, but it would have saved Kyoko a lot of time over the years)

* * *

 

On his third birthday, Naruto received a set of entirely dulled weapons, just the right size for developing hands to wrap around, to get used to the size and heft of kunai and shuriken. Kakashi woke up the day after Naruto’s birthday to a set of entirely dulled weapons, just the right size for developing hands to wrap around, and a note informing him that it was an entirely inappropriate gift for a toddler. He shrugged, and slipped them back in with the rest of his childhood possessions. Next time, surely. He'd have this social interaction, appropriate birthday present thing sorted by then.

* * *

 

On his fourth birthday, Naruto received an anonymous gift- a soft toy kunai big enough to cuddle. Through his binoculars, Kakashi watched him unwrap it, and gave himself a surreptitious thumbs up as the boy- a tiny clone of his old teacher- fell upon it squealing in joy.

Finally. Mission Birthday Present: success.

“My work here is done,” he said, and disappeared in a flurry of leaves.


	3. If Kakashi doesn't get Uzumaki on his team this year, he's quitting the shinobi forces to adopt Naruto and loudly tell him about Minato and Kushina.

“And so, the team assignments this year come up once more,” Sarutobi said, shuffling his papers. The majority of the jounin cleared out of the meeting room quickly at this news, leaving only the unfortunate twelve who were to get a team this year, and the four council members. “Thankfully, we have all our jounin instructors here this time.”

“I was in hospital,” Kakashi said, eye wide and hurt at the reproachful looks his fellow jounin sent him, “I wasn’t discharged until the next morning.”

“And yet, your doctors report that you left through the window a full eight hours before the last team meeting.” Sarutobi hid a smile behind his stack of paper work, and Kakashi shrugged.

“But I wasn’t discharged until the next morning.”

“Anyway,” the Hokage said, reshuffling his papers, “today we will assign the genin teams. If anyone has preferences for any of the genin, now is the time to let me know.”

There was murmuring around the table, and Yuuhi Kurenai, a relatively recent jounin, admitted that she wanted the Hyuuga heiress on her team. The rest of them paged through the academy files on the various genin, with a lot of murmuring about Uchiha Sasuke- the rookie of the year, last natural holder of the Sharingan bloodline- and Uzumaki Naruto- living sacrifice and demon container of the nine tailed fox, dead last in the year, and Konoha’s ranking holder of most pranks played without being caught by either the police or the ANBU.

“Admittedly, I have a preference,” Kakashi said lazily, flicking through his most recent book of smut. Jiraiya was his favourite author, but there was something to be said for Kakuchi, what with the added titillation of  _illustrations_  in certain chapters. He tilted the book to one side and smiled under his mask _._

“Why bother?” Fuuka Teruko, one of the other jounin muttered, “You’ll just fail them anyway.

“I live in hope that a team will meet my standards,” Kakashi said lazily, flicking through his book.

“Uchiha Sasuke?” asked the presiding council member, and nodded, “Done.”

“No way. I want Uzumaki.” At the Hokage’s warning look, Kakashi clarified grudgingly, “the kid can dodge ANBU in bright orange. He’d be a great stealth specialist.”

There was some more muttering as the collected jounin looked at the file again. Even in his photo, his jacket was still eye burningly bright, and it was reluctantly admitted that the boy must have some kind of talent to get away with as much as he did, wearing what he did.

“...Are you sure you don’t want Uchiha Sasuke?” asked the council member, looking nervous. Sharingan Kakashi was the only man left who could train the last Uchiha to his capacity if the rookie managed to awaken his bloodline.

“Quite. In fact, promise me you won’t put him on my team,” Kakashi said, with a lazy flip of his hand, “I hate geniuses. They think they’re so great.”

The rest of the jounin looked at the acknowledged genius, and he gave no reaction but a slight shake of his head, “so full of themselves. No, I don’t want Uchiha Sasuke. Give him to Asuma-kun.”

The Hokage sighed and shook his head.

“But-” Hiruma Junshi, the presiding councilman tried again.

“Kakashi,” the Hokage interrupted the council member, “you can’t have Uzumaki unless you take Uchiha too.”

“But Hokage-sama, I don’t want-” Kakashi slumped in his chair like a child who had been told he couldn’t have desert unless he ate his vegetables.

“Both or neither! I don’t want to hear any more about it!”

“...Both,” he said sulkily, and the meeting continued.


End file.
